Every clarification breeds new questions.

Since I posted my entry about HiRes 90k Implant, I have received a flood of questions. So I thought this is the perfect place to answer them!

1. Is it instantaneous that I will hear? Nope folks, I have to wait to be turned on (Details to follow) and get your mind out of the gutter.

2. Will it cure my hearing? No, there is a 50/50 chance that it might work or not work for me. It will just help me have the sense of hearing. My type of hearing loss is sensorineural hearing loss. It means that a majority of the hair cells on my cochlea bite the dust. The only possible cure is stem cells, which I am not holding my breath for.

3. Am I getting both ears done? I am just getting the left one done but I am not nixing the idea of going bilateral in the future. The idea of hearing in stereo is something I have not done since I was 12.

4. What will my recovery be? Let me tell you what it is going to be like. It is going to me sitting on my fat derriere in my recliner watching HGTV all day with my “private cook” at my every beck and call. However, I should be back to my sunny little cubicle in a week.

5. What are the side effects? Oh, your usual run of the mill anesthesia reactions, facial paralysis, numbness, change in taste, dizziness, and meningitis that I have already taken the vaccine to prevent. Before you freak out, the pros outweigh the cons tremendously for me. To be honest, the only thing that was weighing on my mind is the facial paralysis. Until, I discovered during the course of surgery I will be hooked up to a facial nerve monitor just in case the surgeon gets a little too close for comfort, it will ring the alarm.

6. Are you scared? Not right now. I am jittery more then anything. Who knows how many pairs of shoes I will buy from now to then .

7. How do they perform the surgery? For whatever demented reason that you wish to watch how this surgery is performed, your viewing pleasure is located here, Cochlear Implant Surgery If I tried watching that, TIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBEEEEEER! Abbie goes boom.

8. Why did I pick Advanced Bionics Company over Cochlear Americas or Med-EL? Anyone who knows me will know I do my research about a product. The information that I gathered about the companies themselves, reliability, customer support, technology and the room for advancement without further surgery was overwhelming. When it came crunch time, I felt AB’s devices felt the most comfortable and comparable to the familiar settings that I have with my hearing aid. I felt that the benefits that Advanced Bionics offers is more in tune with my lifestyle.

9. Is one company superior to the others? From what I read, current CI users say no but they will back their product up. It comes down to what will work for you. Cochlear Americas seems to have a larger market of implantees. Advanced Bionics and Med-EL has had some recalls on their product in the past. I feel that because a product has had some recalls does not mean they are substandard. These products are still made by humans who screw up.

10. Am I excited? You bet your bottom dollar I am! Any hearing that I could gain from going through all this will be like winning the lottery.

I have procrastinated enough. I must fold the damn t-shirts.

Au revoir folks.