Bilateral Activation

My new ear was activated yesterday and the results were very promising. When my audiologist plugged me into the computer, I could have sworn I heard something – a surge of electricity but at that point my audiologist didn’t even touch the volume control. As my audiologist gradually turned up the volume, I watched her lips emit an artificially high-pitched voice. When the volume reached a tolerable level, I actually HEARD but I didn’t understand her talk where with my first ear; I wasn’t blessed hearing any type of vernacular. Naturally, my response was giddy since she talked like a chipmunk. :) It was difficult to keep a straight face while trying to effectively describe what I was hearing.

Once we fiddled around with the new ear, they decided to throw the old one back on to see whether I have a sense of balance auditory wise. I immediately had to turn the volume down on the old one. I could tell that I was hearing in stereo because the auditory input in each ear was dramatically different. My old ear was well, my old ear. My new ear was beeps, bongs, whistles. After a few minutes, my old ear decided to become the dominant ear. Once it did that, it somewhat canceled out some of the beeps, bongs and whistles.

No one took pity on the deaf girl because they started ripping paper, banging on the table and tapping their nails. The entire activation took less than an hour. My audiologist didn’t have to explain anything to me since I am a seasoned pro with the implant business. :) Since I went through this process already, I was very conservative volume wise. With my first ear, it was my initial instinct to amp up the volume because that is how you hear with a hearing aid. This time around, since I know what I know now, I know that you can’t rush it. Your brain will tell you what it wants, when it wants it. I was fitted with a Hi-Res Paired program with Fidelity 120, Hi-Res Sequential program with Fidelity 120 and a Hi-Res Paired noise program with Fidelity 120. I get to cycle through each one for several hours to see which one I prefer. My audiologist strongly suggested that I leave my old one off as much as possible to give my new ear some time to play catch up. Joy. :)

After activation, I walked out of the hospital with my slot firmly in position for Hi-Res Paired program with Fidelity 120 and unknowingly walked into the world according to Super Mario brothers. All sorts of beeps, buzzing, and bongs just pulsing away in my head. It sounds all futuristic but emanates the past of the arcade games from the 80’s.

Just driving home was a trip having the wonderfully iconic BOING of Super Mario powering up as I drove over every bump on the road. The only thing that really stood out is when I yawned a good healthy yawn – it sounded like a very horny orca performing their mating call. Feel free to YouTube that. I had noticed that I was unable to hear my blackberry chirp or croak when someone sent me a message. A few hours later, I could hear it. When I first got home, I couldn’t hear my dog’s toenails click clack against the floor. A few hours later, I could. I must have walked her up and down my 15 foot hallway about twenty times to hear it. I’m sure she thought I had gotten lost in my own house. :) I can tell when someone really has a good laugh. That is probably the only thing that I can pick out right now. BUT, I did pick up that there were some drums playing on the television.

I learned a little something about bilateral mappings – it wears you out. I mean my mappings for just one were a bit tiring but two – Oy! I’m not a napper by any means because I’ll sleep when I’m dead. But I buckled under pressure and took a twenty minute snooze.

This morning I decided to give Hi-Res Sequential program with Fidelity 120 a whirl – at work. I am sitting here with my hair down cleverly disguising two cochlear implants - the new one attached and the old one with the coil hanging just in case I need to use the telephone. it looks like a very ugly earring. Instead of listening to the world dictated by Super Mario Brothers, I am on the Galactic Republic listening to the auroral radio chatter of R2D2. When someone talks, it is as if R2D2 has a hyperactivity disorder – different beeps, bloops, and whistles randomly and furiously. And I am supposed to figure those out. :) I am listening to rain and it sounds like when Sonic the Hedgehog is collecting a whole mess of rings. When I walk down the hallway with my heels, I feel as I am walking with the weight of an elephant because it is very loud.

All in all, I am thrusting myself into the noisy world starting from scratch – hearing everything for the first time – again. I forgot how much I loved this process. :) Everything that I am hearing, coincides with a sound immediately. That pleases me. The toughest part about this for me is leaving my old ear off but I will remain diligent. My next mapping is next Friday on April 10th and that is when the real fun begins. For now, R2D2 and I are going to be buddies for the next week.

Auditory High of Activation

Reminiscing over the past seven and half months, I realized how wet I was behind the ears as I was learning how to hear with a cochlear implant. Now still in reminiscent mode, I find it hysterical but I did not then. When this super uber technology was turned on into my dormant yet primitive ear, I realized that six trillion months of researching wouldn’t have helped in preparing me for activation.

Sure, I read all the technical details of a cochlear implant!

Sure, I read the software manual that maps my implant!

Sure, I talked to hundreds of people that went through the same thing!

I thought I had an idea of what was to come but – woo-wee my brain had other plans. I was downright disappointed when the audiologist flipped the switch. I had an archive of every single email, forum message, conversation, IM messages that was relative to activation stored in my noggin and none of it made sense. Right off the bat, I couldn’t believe how loud I sounded but realistically I was talking as soft as a mouse. Everything that I wanted to hear – I couldn’t, like cars or a helicopter so close that I could count the rivets. On the other end of the frequency spectrum, what I never heard was coming through in monumental volumes, blinkers, forks against the plate and paper! I quickly found how paper, a material made from pulp dictated my life for the next month. It was interesting that I was super sensitive to the silliest sounds. I could not understand the distinction between a twang and a pop or a hiss and a tick but I was hearing – something. Something was better then hearing nothing at all but I was enjoying the magic carpet ride of digitalized auditory stimulation.

When I went back for my second mapping, I decided that I wanted to pump up the volume! After many warning, my audiologist reluctantly obliged to my wishes. She wanted me to take it easy in the beginning. I had this whole philosophy laid out to justify why I wanted that volume cranked up, I had some hearing time to make up for since I just spent the past six months and 26 days deaf as a doorknob. It was pointless trying to talk some sense into me. If you remember the teacher from Charlie Brown with her incessant droning of, “Wah wah wah”, this is what my audiologist sounded like to me, literally and figuratively. Now I love her but it was just the fact that it was my ear. She pumped up the volume, fiddled with some settings and shipped me off on my merry little way to experience a wider range of sounds. Once again, I became super sensitive to sounds I didn’t hear the week before but everything was loud. It tickled me immensely that everything was amplified with depth and richness. Nothing sounded like my hearing aid used to but I was hanging sixteen on the super galactic auditory wave in an ocean of noise!

By the time I got back to my third mapping, I was really hungry for sound. I am sure my audiologist thought my magnet was on a little tight but I wanted her to crank it up. I wanted to hear everything and I wanted it amplified in amazing volumes! Since I read the manual that maps my processor, I read this little definition of what an IDR:

Input Dynamic Range (IDR) defines the amount of acoustic input that is mapped into the patient’s electrical dynamic range. IDR determines the intensity range (width) captured by the processor for input signals. The HiResolution Bionic Ear System has the capability to capture a very wide IDR of up to 80 dB. The default setting is 60 dB.

In laymen terms, it means that if you have a low IDR the window of sound around you is smaller and it compresses loud sounds more. If you have a higher IDR, the window of sound is a little big bigger and it won’t compress loud sounds as much as a lower IDR will. Anyway, all I saw was the word wide and the fact that it didn’t have anything to do with the width of my rear end, I wanted it. My audiologist warned me again but obliged to my incredibly inexperienced suggestion. As long as I knew that I had all the auditory input available downloaded into my processor, I was happy as a clam. The super hearing wave started to lose its gusto this mapping. Noises that were once so prominent started to fade into the background similar to how a hearing person tunes out sounds. This time, it wasn’t that booming loud sound that I loved so much before. As time went on, it was almost as though the collaboration of sounds started to equalize in my head. My brain was catching up with the new way of hearing. It reorganized the neural pathways to make sense that a click of the keyboard had an extra frequency, women have an extra resonance of high frequencies to their voice and that leaves tinker as they rustle in the wind. This was about the time I was coming down off the auditory high and start teaching my brain how to recognize speech and sounds.

My overly hasty goal of hearing everything that the world was capable of culminating led me to experience foreign sounds and sensations. I am a long-term hearing aid user and I have become accustomed having 80dB of sound being pumped into my ear for twenty some odd years. It is safe to say that I associate my hearing with amplification and nothing else. My wise wisdom for today: throw out that theory out the window when it comes to hearing with a CI – raising the volume on a cochlear implant is not the same thing as hearing aid. It is like comparing apples to oranges, Nordstrom’s to Wal-Mart and a BMW to a Ford Taurus. Some people that are conservative with how loud the volume is but not me, I was a greedy little audiophile and I paid for it.

Well, the auditory high turned into an auditory nightmare and I have no one to blame but I. I developed a multitude of minor issues such as eye twitching, sensitivity to high frequency sounds, white noise, static, and distortion. I’m usually the last to admit my shortcomings but I should have listened to my audiologist right from the start. I walked into my last mapping with my tail between my legs and I let her do whatever she wanted. I was desperate for some clarity. She changed the IDR from 80 back down to 60, which erased the white noise and allowed clarity to come through. The lesson I learned, more is not always better. In comparison between the two IDR’s, I am not missing anything but I am gaining clarity and comprehension. The eye twitching was eliminated by changing speech strategies from HiRes-P to HiRe-S and widen the pulse width significantly. Twitch free for me! Men’s voices were resolved with some gains in the lower spectrum. Finally yet most importantly, she lowered the volume. :)

So after all that I have experienced, I would think it is safe to say I have learned my lesson. After months of auditory rehab, some fine-tuning and finally giving in and letting my audiologist take control – I am very happy with the outcome. This map has been the best map so far. My hearing has gotten better then last month and last month, it was better then the previous month. Just think, if I listened to her in the first place I would not be sitting here sharing this with you. :)

My advice to all you newly activated implantee’s – Throw away what you think you know and listen to what you haven’t heard.

Deaf Bingo, Gossip, Captions!

My first deaf bingo game!

As some of you might know, I know very little sign language. I was mainstreamed in a school that did not provide a dual setting to learn the English language and sign language. I was never against learning sign (as some of you think I am) but when I was younger I preferred to talk and I always will. There have been times that I wish I knew ASL like when I went to a couple of local Deaf Fests. My experiences at these events were not great because the minute that I would start to talk, they would walk away from me. I know you are thinking that my cochlear implant was a problem but the fact that I had a CI never entered into the equation because I didn't even get remotely close to getting through the preliminary greetings to tell them I had one. It was hurtful at first but I needed to learn more about the culture and I made a decision that I wanted to learn ASL because I think it is a beautiful language, just like dance.

My friend Joleen (she signs) and I danced ourselves to my first deaf bingo game on Saturday. When I first walked into the room, everybody flinging flanging fingers was flying all over the place. I was a little overwhelmed.

"Way out of my league," I thought to myself.

Once I took a seat, I started to study the hand movements. I learned more sign language in 2 hours then in the past 20 years. The deaf people that I met were patient and took the time to show me different signs. There was even a couple of interpreters there which was helpful because I was the one that needed interpreting :)

Overall, the deaf bingo game was a good experience for me. I made some new friends, left with a boatload of signs, and I am planning to go back. My only complaint is that I didn't win... blah!

Been itching to gossip about some of you because I am way overdue!

Deafcone was just activated last Tuesday and already had a couple mappings since! Ahh... those first few weeks are fun times, fun times indeed. I think he hinted around that he has an activation video that he is attempting to caption yippie!! I will be looking forward to that!

Jeff has posted his activation video some time ago which I feel the utter need to exploit :) Go check it out here

Cyborg Queen was activated last Friday! She seems to be doing fairly well; she is in that "Oh boy! its loud!" stage. She can already tell a difference between using the CI and the HA... I'm very excited to see how she does with hers :)

Mike Chorost had his junior partner activated on January 24th and I am having such a joy reading tale of his two ears :) He is already able to localize sounds! I am over the moon for him!

Sam Spritzer has an up and coming activation slotted for February 15th for his second ear. It seems like it is taking forever to get here which is good for me for an undisclosed reason, but for him, i can't wait!

My friend Joleen is being turned on Valentines Day! She went and had her stitches taken out last Tuesday, which went fine. Then her Audi hooked her up to the computer to test drive the first four electrodes and she heard her Audi talking! She said it sounded far away which is normal but it sounded just like her hearing aid! This is an ear that she has never ever used a hearing aid and I am not allowed to divulge how long that has been :) Now she is antsy in the panties for activation! Thank goodness, my dear Audi didn't tease me like that!

Amy is another one with a February activation! Its the ears of the Aquarius :) She is slotted for the 12th. One more week to go girl!

Shari has become a candidate for a Cochlear Implant! (doing the wave) She is in the beginning process of picking out which brand of CI to get. I really like reading her blog because she is not only deaf, she suffers from Ushers which is a disease that causes progressive blindness but it offers a completely different perspective.

Jillian is a little one that will be having surgery tomorrow. Her mom has been fighting with the insurance company for quite some time to pay for the surgery and she finally got approval back in December! I got my fingers crossed Jilly!

Captioned Videos!

I must say I am tickled pink that I am starting to see a trickle of people showing interest to start adding captions on their vlogs which stands for "video log." Here is a few that have done it already and some with Overstream.net!

Seek Geo's is my favorite vlogger because he signs AND he captions his videos which helps someone like me who doesn't know how to sign. I have learned a lot just from watching him and I am looking forward to watching many more! I like the way he thinks too, he believes that everyone should respect one another! He is so entertaining to watch and is pretty easy on the eyes if you ask me :)

Jennifer , my bionic belle has captioned one of her activation videos! Go check her out, captions and all here

Val who is the mother of two adorable children with cochlear implant just posted a video with subtitles! Go check it out!

Mike McConnell at Kokonut Pundit has quickly become one of my favorite spitfire blogs to read. The southerner has become the first vlogger on Deafread to use his voice and not sign but he captions to make sure not one single person is going to miss what is being said. Some people are upset by this because he does know how to sign, I'm just slapstick happy that it is captioned!

Another blog I just discovered is at http://www.bluejeansguy.com/ which uses ASL and he has started captioning his vlogs!

If I forgot someone, shoot me an email and I'll revise this faster then you can learn to say "How are you?" in Urdu :)

I must end this post with paying homage to the NEW YORK GIANTS!!! Hopefully, the Giants will set the tune that the Yankees will march right to the World Series this year.

Hello World.

• Gigantic Productions is going to begin producing a show called "True Life: I’m deaf" on MTV. They are looking for a variety of deaf individuals ages 14-28. This is the casting call notice from HearingExchange along with the contact information

Do you have severe or total deafness? Are you a deaf student, about to graduate and go out into the world on your own for the very first time? Or are you currently attending a school for the deaf but about to transition to a mainstream school? Perhaps you’re trying to find a job but experiencing difficulty because you are deaf? Are you hoping to get a cochlear implant or be fitted for a hearing aid to significantly improve your ability to hear? Are you a [deaf] member of an advocacy group, fighting to gain more rights or assistance for deaf people?

If you fit any of these descriptions, MTV and Gigantic! Productions want to hear your story at casting@gigantic.tv or call 212.343.2674.

• Project readOn is a completely free online video captioning service. You can go there and search through video that have captioning or submit one that you want it! Sounds like a bargain to me!

• This is a petition to the FCC to push the issue of making it mandatory to caption online or downloadable video. Popular broadcasting networks such as NBC, ABC, CBS AND FOX all have rich video content on their websites, but they do not provide captioning. However, CNET TV has announced that all their videos have the capability of captioning with a click of a CC button.

• Paula Rosenthal over at HearingExchange has made an online site for kids! HearingExchange Kids is geared specifically towards elementary and middle school kids with a hearing loss. I feel that this site would be good for educating a hearing child about hearing loss as well.
  

• HLAA (Hearing Loss Association of America) is holding their convention in Reno, Nevada this year on June 12 to the 15th. The only problem with this is that I have to fly *gulp* but I'm going! I was considering driving but I did the math, $640 in gas alone changed my mind quickly.

• When I was listening to Josh Swiller, he mentioned a company called Godisa Technologies located in Botswana that provides low-cost digital BTE hearing aids and did I mention it is solar powered to people that otherwise would have been unable to afford them. The battery, the aid, the charger is all charged by a solar panel. From the clean technology to the vision of the company is genius!

• I just ordered this book off of Amazon, its called Rally Caps and the author is a loyal reader, an amazing and HIGHLY entertaining blogger and a wonderful devoted mother to her son Jordan who has a cochlear implant, meet Jodi Cutler Del Dottore
  

Now for some Cochlear Implant Surgeries and Activations

• A loyal reader and fellow blogger Deafcone had his first cochlear implant surgery this past Monday and I would appreciate if you would pop over there and give him some love! His recovery process sounds so similar to mine, poor guy.
  

• Sam Spritzer is going bilateral on January 15th and getting turned on.. February 15th which so happens to be yours truly birthday! Sam used to suffer from the eye twitches like me UNTIL he printed out a copy of the post that rectified mine and took it with him to a mapping. Read about how it fixed him up! I am SOOO happy that it was able to help him!
  

• Another blogger SkullChick is having her first cochlear implant surgery on January 15th and her activation is February 12th!!

• Michael Chorost is activating his second implant on January 24th!
  

I can't keep up with them all!!!

My Activation Video!!

I told you all before that I was going to tape my activation and I neglected to post it. Jennifer catapulted me into posting mine :) After going through three computers, four reinstallation of Microsoft Movie Maker, several crashes, searching on Google on why Micrsoft Movie Maker hates my guts and two hours troubleshooting, I finally got the damn thing up :) Grab some popcorn and some laffy taffy and enjoy the flix.

Amazing Activation Video!

A couple post ago I told you my buddy Jennifer was being activated and she taped it! She had an amazing activation and was actually laughing! She is such a trip. Go here and check it out :) Jennifer cochlear implant activation videos!

Part One!

Part Two!

Part Three!

Part Four!

124,073

This is not random numbers. This does not represent the population of Northern Thailand. This positive integer is the actual cost of my cochlear implant surgery that is printed on my EOB. Holy! Let me just leave it as that because a collection of other four letter words are springing to mind and this blog is rated PG-13. Thank goodness, I was sitting down when I opened that envelope.

Tuesday was the first time that I opened up the black hollow steel door at work to reveal the security scanner with two familiar constabulary individuals monitoring every beep and boop, I was nervous. Never mind this being the first time that I walk into work with a cleverly disguised magnet stuck to my head, but what if I fulfill all the requirements needed for that scanner to go haywire and alert the guards. The domino effect of emanating a loud beep (that will probably have sounded like an African drum or nothing at all), which will lead me to assume a position of arms out to the side, having a secondary wand from front to back, head to toe. What if, just what if the possibility of while being scanned and the magnet become airborne and attaches itself to the wand?! I can see it now, a phrase never uttered by these lips, “Umm, could I please have my magnet back?” A scene from the movie the Poltergeist ran through my mind with all the silverware flying all over the place. I blink my eyes and motion myself back to reality.

“Good morning, boys!” I say.

“How you doing, Abbie?” They say.

“Oh, I’m doing just ……..fine.” I say with an uneasy smile.

I put my purse and food down on the conveyer belt of the x-ray machine and watch it as if it was going through a car wash. Now I look up at this steel arbor with multi-colored blinking diodes before me. I swallow my last breath before taking one giant step underneath it. I have arrived to the other side. My eyes moved as if I was in REM (someone pinch me please) at the two constabulary individuals for any apparent movement. They did not move a muscle. Total silence was in the air. What the hell was I worried about? ::) For all practical purposes of keeping the magnet on my head, I feel better knowing that I can come and go as I please with my happy little magnet safely tucked under my hair.

I was given some homework in my last post. Michael Chorost who is the author of Rebuilt suggested that I have a second look at his book for some comfort. When I first started researching about cochlear implants, his name popped up all over the place. I was seeing popular quotes, videos, and numerous articles. He is quite the popular cyborg! Upon doing more research, I discover he grew up in the same neck of the woods as I did and was implanted with the Advanced Bionics device. I could hardly wait to get my hands on his book. I headed over to my friendly neighborhood library and checked his book out. Once I picked it up, I couldn’t put it down. Right from the beginning, the book was evoked beautifully with such technological skill that was fueled with veracious witticism. It is the perfect book to read if you are curious, contemplating, or currently already have a cochlear implant.

Back to my homework! He suggested reviewing his Activation chapter of his book. The first time I read Rebuilt, I personally connected with his sudden hearing loss. The rest of book was mountains of entertaining information. The second time around was more meaningful. A couple days after I was activated, I was asked how I was doing, psychologically. I lacked the ability to articulate myself correctly, for once. I stumbled trying to answer that. It is not often I am speechless; I have an answer for everything. While reading Rebuilt again, I was able to personalize it on so many levels. The emotional roller coaster of expectations, uncertainties, anticipation, and disappointment is all a normal part of this process. One small step at a time... How is that for articulation? :) With the wonderful racket I am hearing, I have been granted solace and encouragement. I am positive that it will get better with time. I ended up buying my own copy of Rebuilt to refer to throughout each stage of this process.

Besides, for a low price of $124, 073, you can hear acorns hit your roof too! :)

We welcome you to Munchkin Land!!!

I was able to sleep on my left side last night for the first time in 3 weeks! I curled up in fetal position and went right to sleep. I woke up on the right side of the bed and with a rather snappy tune in my head. Kid Rock has a song called Cowboy. Part of the chorus goes “I wanna be a Cowboy, baby!” I turned it around to “I’m gonna be a Cy-borg, baby!” You have to know the beat to enjoy the humor in it. I think it would make a nice jingle! Ummm, yeah moving right along!

I strolled into work, sat down at my desk, and attempted to focus on work for 5 hours. I did not do such a great job :) Philly and I left at one o’clock and not a minute after to run home to go get my mom. We arrive at the hospital around 3:30. We worked out the seating arrangements in the office. Jennifer hooked me up to the computer and then told me to get rid of my hearing aid, literally. She had no trouble finding the secret spot where the magnet was. I can hardly feel it! She changed it to a number 2 magnet because of my hair and so far so good. She started the process of activating my brand spanking new Harmony processor with Fidelity 120 with extended lows. Sounds hot right? :) Right off the bat, she starts raising the volume on all 16 electrodes at once until I reached a comfortable level. Jennifer’s voice had an echo. I could hear the sounds of her speech but for the life of me I couldn’t make out what she said. It sounded terrible :) It sounded like all the munchkins from Oz were rounded up, forced to smoke a joint, and placed in the tin mans can with helium. I could hear myself but everyone said that I was talking softer then normal. I talk soft to begin with! Jennifer decided to create a second map based on the response from each electrode. The overall volume was louder then the first map. However, the same high as hell munchkins in the tin mans can breathing helium was there. Jennifer created a third map from the electrical response of the electrodes. It produced the same pot smoking munchkins in a tin man cans passing around a deflated balloon with helium. All three programs are 50/50 T-Mic and auxiliary microphone.

We welcome you to Munchkin Land

Tra la la la la la la la la la la la

Since all 16 electrodes were turned on, I have experienced no twitching. That is a plus! I was dropping components and banging on the table to see what kind of noises I could hear. It sounded like dull thuds. Once she unhooked me and I was officially on my own, I heard the sound of speech. I heard my mom zip and unzip her purse. I heard someone talking but nobody in the room was flapping their gums. Turns out it was none other then the good doctor, Dr. Bigelow standing right outside the door. He popped his head in to say hello. Jennifer showed me how to operate my sexy little Harmony processor and all the other gadgets and gizmos that come along with it. She sent me on my merry little way and I will be back to see her next Monday, same time!

I left the office, paid my valet parking fee, and patiently waited outside for my truck to come. I was hearing speech noises coming from all over the place. I did not hear cars. I heard a bus roar on by that sounded semi normal. A fire truck complete with lights and sirens came to visit the front of the building. I could not hear the sirens until the truck was within birds eye view. The next sound I thought I would be able to hear but did not. A HELICOPTER practically landed right on top of my head and I could not hear that! I felt it for sure because this girl got the worst case of wind blown hair. I looked like I came right off a Harley. Yikes! Then Mom and Philly started the third degree about how soft spoken I was. So if I feel like I am screaming, I'm fine.

My truck finally arrives in one piece. I get into the drivers seat, the valet shuts my door, and I nearly jumped out of my stilettos! It scared the hell out of me. It has a different sound then before. My blinker is SOOO loud. No wonder why people hate when I leave it on. :) I am picking up strange sounds and not hearing the obvious. One the ride home, I seem to notice that sounds were getting softer, so I turned up the volume. I started to tell when Philly was talking in the backseat, although I could not make out what she was saying. I decided to turn my hearing aid on for safety reason riding in the car. Philly’s voice normalized for a sentence or two. I was taken aback by that. I was able to differentiate when my Mom and Philly talked.

I got home around 7:30, removed my hearing aid, and declared myself exhausted. Thank Aunt Jemimah that I did not have to go back to work because I would have been as useless as teats on a bull. I have already noticed an improvement from when I was first turned on to now. I made myself some soup for dinner and I heard the dial turn on and off the stove. Figures I would hear that but not a helicopter about to land on my head. I heard the pot grate against the grill. I started banging my spoon around in my pan. My sexy little Harmony is going crazy when I start typing on my keyboard a mile a minute! I have the TV on but I cannot hear a darn thing. Sitting on my ear here is some crazy technology. However, if you were to ask me if this was all worth it, my answer in an eye blink is yes. I am glad that I know it works. I am pleased that I have already seen an improvement. I am in high spirits that I know it will only get better from hereon in. I must end this post because I must attempt to find a empty plug to put my new charger in. I'll be hearing ya soon!!

Harmony makes small things grow, lack of it makes great things decay.

Goals...

Tomorrow will start like any other Monday. I will promptly arrive at my sunny little cubicle and attempt to do my duties to the best of my ability. How does one act knowing that they will be a fully functional cyborg before dinner? I have a notion that I might act as if I have ants in my pants. Boss, I apologize for my pre-borg behavior if I screw up tomorrow :) I should be leaving around one o’clock to head over to Philadelphia to be turned on. I will be filming my activation tomorrow. I just put fresh batteries in the camera and it is ready for my bionic debut.

A couple weeks ago, I emailed my fellow colleagues at work a survey of what they love and hate to hear. The feedback I received inspired me to post it. Many thanks goes out to those who responded.

Question number one: If you were deaf and by some miracle you were able to hear again, what is the first thing that you would want to hear?

• Children
• The words "I love you."
• Thunderstorm
• Kids uncontrollably laughing
• Nature noises
• Music
• Dogs singing
• Family's voices
• Birds Chirping
• Crickets (I don't know if I want to hear this one for personal reasons)
• Leaves
• Mothers voice (I'm hoping this will be the first I thing I hear)
• Pages turning in a book
• Heavy rain
• Baby's Laugh
• Baby's first cry
• Band practicing
• Laughter
• Ocean (This is at the top of my list)
• Waves crashing
• My own voice (It would be nice to hear myself again)
• Water boiling
• Fireworks
• Rice Krispies go Snap, Crackle and Pop
• My puppies soft little sounds she makes
• The fizzy sound when you open soda
  

Question number two: If you were deaf and by some miracle, you were able to hear again, what is the last thing that you would want to hear?

• Screaming
• Water dripping
• Nails scratching on a chalkboard (I have no clue what that sounds like)
• Hillary Clinton's screeching voice
• Phone ringing
• Fork scraping against teeth
• Significant other complaining
• Car Alarm
• Emergency door alarm (apparently this is a very annoying sound at work)
• Alarm Clock
• Country music
• Baby's cry
• Child whining
• Fire department sirens
• Screeching brakes
• Fork scratching a plate
• Neighbors screaming and fighting
• "What’s for dinner?"
• Annoying children toys
• Silence
• Whistling
• Fingernail flicking
• Teeth grinding

The funniest response I got was “You are a millionaire!” and she would hate to hear “Only Kidding!”

My personal favorite was “There isn't anything I wouldn't want to hear.”

With this feedback I formed goals as to what I like to hear. I'm going to add this as a bookmark because I will refer to it. I plan on crossing off when I heard it and mark the date. I thought it was a rather spiffy idea if I do say so myself.

The day before I join the borgs was interesting. My neighbor called me to see if I could come offer her moral support. What kind of moral support you ask? The kind of moral support that requires one sticking their hand in a hole full of crickets on steroids (she had to turn off her main water valve). I physically get ill over insects but I been down this scary road a long time ago which required therapy. I was ready to face my fear head on providing I had the right tools. I ran over with two garbage bags, one for my entire arm and one to cover up the hole. It turns out I am OK when I do not see them but when I do see them is when I start with massive hysteria. Thank god, my eight-pound predator knows how to smash them. My sincere apologies are extended to the people in the Entomology field.

Now we moved on to my neighbors main agenda of the day, replacing the fill valve and the flapper in one of her toilets. After reading the instructions on how to remove the existing and replace it in both English and Spanish several times, we both felt confident that we could accomplish this task. I mean they sell the kits in Home Depot, so it can’t be that hard, right. The first task is to shut off the main water valve! Check! So we thought. We discovered a minor problem shortly after dismantling the existing fill valve. She has a malfunctioning main water valve that decreases the amount of pressure but does not shut it off completely. After much consideration, we decided to change it with the water bursting and all. This was one of those moments that you wish you had a camcorder. The two of us in this tiny little bathroom, changed that fill valve and flapper in less then 30 seconds. If you ever need one changed, we are your women for the job. Feeling rather proud of ourselves, we raised our hands in the hair to give each other a hearty high five. It was stopped short when I realized that my neighbors hand was dirty which nixed that idea! :)

This quote is for all the people that took the time to read my blog. I have received so many wonderful commentaries. I just wish some of them weren't anonymous :)

“The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding outside.”

0 Days, 18 Hours, 28 Minutes to go!!

1 Days, 16 Hours, 17 Minutes: Technically

This little battle of tinnitus that I got going on here is ending! I have figured out that the enemy (tinnitus) is employing a method known as acoustic jamming. I’ll be damned if I’m going to be jammed. Due to my cerebral ingenuity or the enemy is running out of puff, the volume is noticeable but low. I can hear the telly again and Bella barking. I have packed my tent up and will be leaving Camp Unhappy immediately.

On a more important note, today is the last Saturday that my left ear will be deaf as a doorknob. I woke up to a dank morning but by noontime, the temperature reached about 77 degrees, the clouds were gone and the sun was shining scattering the blue light in the sky. I got myself all prettied up and ran some errands before my chow down appointment with a good friend Melissa and our mothers at the Olive Garden. You just cannot go wrong with unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks for $5.99. We had such a good time together. It was so nice just sitting around enjoying each other’s company over good Italian food. After lunch, someone (not naming names) brought up shopping and I thought I might have to invest in an activation outfit. Needless to say, I went shopping afterwards.

Upon running my errands this morning, I came across a fruit called a Minneola. Since my palate craves intellectual nourishment at least six times a day, I added it to my pantry this morning. I have never had this citrus but it looks strikingly similar to a Sunkist naval orange but deeper in color. Doing a quick search on Google revealed that it is hybrid between a tangerine and a grapefruit. As far as taste goes, I can truly say I have experienced the ultimate tartness. The grapefruit is definitely dominant. The tartness prompted me to sprinkle it with Splenda that revealed the tangerine tang. At last, my palate was content with the newfound Minneola.

I have a hidden agenda in sharing this rather asinine story. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I ventured out and discovered a Minneola, which is sour, but coupled with something sweet, was delectable. I will be bringing the same mentality with me when I am activated. I am going to be operated by a computer in my head, which at first might be a sour experience. Regardless of what I hear, I am going to venture out and see what I can do to enhance it. Perseverance will prevail and it is starting with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer Stone audio book. I'm stoked!

Resistance is futile.

Destination is merely a byproduct of the journey: Part II

The countdown is indeed dwindling down and I am beginning to get impatient, but not for the obvious reasons. The tinnitus has come back and I have set up a tent at Camp Unhappy. It sounds like a fish tank bubbling and I cannot tell which side of my head the tinnitus is coming from. It started on Tuesday and increasingly got louder. Yesterday when I woke up, it was just like old times. I could hardly hear a thing. This morning the noise was not so loud. It is just so aggravating. I was just so grateful for that little taste of silence for a couple weeks. I am not welcoming this noisy visitor with open arms again. Anyway, moving right along to your lesson of the day.

Let me copy and paste this to refresh your memory:

Activation involves the external part of the system, which is the processor that resembles your standard behind the ear hearing aid. The coil with the flat round disc at the end houses a magnet that will attach to the magnet in the implant that lies under my head. Whew, try saying that five times fast. Before I continue, for the record my processor will be boring beige. I am far too colorful with my hair and wardrobe to rock a colorful processor. Once the two magnets attract each other then my audiologist, Jennifer who is going to be my new best friend for the next couple of months, can get down to business and start programming the implant according to how I respond to the tones. Once the programming is complete, she activates me and slowly starts to turn up the volume to a comfortable level. At this point, I should be able to hear something. These sessions are called mappings that will be explained in detail as the countdown dwindles down.

When it comes to activation on Monday, the programming will be referred to as mappings. Two levels of sound must be determined in order to custom map the implant to my hearing loss. The first level is called a Threshold or T for short, which is when I can detect the softest sound at each frequency. The second level is Comfort, C or M for short. This is when I determine my loudest but most comfortable sound at each frequency. I believe they use what is called live speech burst to determine the levels. Once these two levels are determined, the audiologist will go through a process of asking me when two different pitches of sound are at the same volume. Somehow, that sounds tricky to me. If you are presented with, a low bass sound followed with a high tone and have to determine if it is at the same volume level. It seems to me it is easier said than done.

Once the T & C levels are determined and everything sounds the same to me, the audiologist will download the map to my processor and turn the volume up until I can hear. It will be at that most moment that I will be able to hear something.

The following could happen:

• Best-case scenario is that I could hear everything just as natural as could be.
• Everyone sounds like munchkins from Wizard of Oz, but I will understand speech.
• I could hear sounds similar to R2D2 fighting in Star Wars as speech.
• I could hear static.

Regardless of what I hear, it will be something more then what I currently have now. The audiologist might have to play around with the levels a little more depending on how I respond. That is mapping in a nutshell. Being mapped is not just a one-time deal. I have three more mapping sessions scheduled over a month and half period. As time goes on my brain will learn to interpret what the electrical pulses are from the implant as sound and it will become natural. When my brain gets use to one map, sounds will become softer which means my brain is ready for more volume. At that point, I will have to go back to the audiologist and have another mapping session to determine the threshold and comfort levels all over again.

Lesson completed! Class dismissed.

Destination is merely a byproduct of the journey.

“Can you hear yet?!”

If I had a dime for every time I have been asked this since I had my surgery, my piggy bank would be overflowing! I wouldn’t be a rich girl but I would have enough money to buy my poochie a couple bones. The surgery is the first step of this journey back to sound. Nothing is ever easy, and learning how to hear again is no exception. My next step is activation. Before you even bat your eye, I’m going to explain the process and what activation entails, and with pictures too!

HiRes 90K Cochlear Implant by Advanced Bionics

The surgery inserts the internal part, the cochlear implant. The cochlear implant (see picture above) was inserted right above my left ear and under my skin as you can see here. A small hole was drilled through the mastoid bone to gain access to my cochlea and feed the tail through. At the end of the tail, you will notice the wire is a thicker. The thicker part of the wire houses 16 electrodes. The clear plastic mouse shape part is where the receiver and the magnet are located. The magnet is the part that resembles a watch battery at the top of the implant. Essentially, I got micro chipped :D I have no qualms with walking around asking people to cop a feel off my magnet.

This diagram gives offers you a visual interpretation of how the implant is inserted in my ear. If you follow the silver wire that starts from the top part of the ear, you will see that the electrodes follow the contour of the cochlea (the snail shape organ). It is pretty nifty right? With any surgery, there is minimal trauma but time heals all wounds and Vitamin E and cocoa butter heals all scars. My time to heal is three weeks before activation. I am down two and one week to go! Technically, it is closer to six days and 19 some odd hours but who is counting. Ah, hem…

Harmony Processor from Advanced Bionics

Activation involves the external part of the system, which is the processor that resembles your standard behind the ear hearing aid. The coil with the flat round disc at the end houses a magnet that will attach to the magnet in the implant that lies under my head. Whew, try saying that five times fast. Before I continue, for the record my processor will be boring beige. I am far too colorful with my hair and wardrobe to rock a colorful processor. Once the two magnets attract each other then my audiologist, Jennifer who is going to be my new best friend for the next couple of months, can get down to business and start programming the implant according to how I respond to the tones. Once the programming is complete, she activates me and slowly starts to turn up the volume to a comfortable level. At this point, I should be able to hear something. These sessions are called mappings that will be explained in detail as the countdown dwindles down. I like to keep my loyal readers in suspense! :D

More details at 11 tomorrow.

Activation Video

Just like Google, I can find everything I want to watch on YouTube! I found this very moving video of a cochlear implant being activated. This was the first time she heard her mom and dad. I'm getting misty eyed just watching her.