Wednesday, September 19, 2007

i.cyborg day 3

After work yesterday, I was pooped. I was ready to kick off my stilettos and call it a day at 10:00am. No one told me how exhausted you will get learning how to hear. Let me be the first to tell you that when they turn that badass implant on, be prepared to lay your head down and go to sleep. So far, the area where the magnet attaches is a little sore, but not much. The soreness resolves it self after an hour once it is taken off. I am still having a problem with talking above a whisper because I feel like I am talking extremely loud. Sheesh, can't people learn to hear me? :)

Voices have taken on an obnoxious static tinny sound such as when a radio station is not fully tuned in. I have no speech discrimination. It seems like all the pot-smoking munchkins went to sleep. I tried listening to Harry Potter and the Sorcerer Stone and that did not work out well. So back on the bookshelf that went. I opted for some Grimm’s Fairy Tales about a donkey that got kicked off a farm to become a singer, steps on a dog, almost gives a cat a heart attack, drops a bunch of mice on their head, befriended a rooster that is in desperate need of Prozac and they all decided to formed a band. I’m on pins and needles to find out the ending.


The day after activation was business as usual at my sunny little cubicle. The only time I used my hearing aid yesterday was when I was waiting for the Tylenol to kick in to cure my headache for about an hour. Today was an improvement considering I had no headache AND Harmony was attached to me all daylong!

Adding machines regardless of who is using one, it produces a chime effect that reminds me of being at Atlantic City playing the nickel slot machines (I'm a high roller.)

I can tell when someone is talking but I cannot make out a single thing anyone is saying without lip-reading.

Someone blew their nose and jumping jimmy cricket it was LOUD enough to wake a bear out of hibernation!

I heard a motorcycle pull into the parking lot, a Harley Davidson to be exact. I was actually able to tell it was coming from my last side. Vroom!

I can hear when things glide across my desk. I can really hear it when I put things in my metal drawer.

Yesterday I had an issue with paper. It did not matter what kind of paper, money, newspaper, magazine, coupons, or toilet paper. It drove me insane and I cringed every time I had to touch it. It produced a tinny hissy sound that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Today it was not so bad. I think I can continue to work with paper so I don't have to quit my job.

I picked up the telephone and I heard the dial tone that was clear as a bell! I have not heard that since February.

As I type on the keyboard, I hear my nails hit and scrape the keys CLINK not clack, but clinking. When I start typing fast, it sounds like slot machines music. It sounds purty :)

I heard someone clicking their mouse button a mile a minute.


My blinker is not as loud as it was on Tuesday.

Road noise is apparent but not too bad.

I can hear the engine rev when I accelerate.

Forget music for now. It all sounds like an eight track got chewed up like london broil by some hungry cowboys.


Let me talk about the TV. The first night when I came home, I could not hear a peep from the TV.

Last night, I was watching one of my favorite programs, House, and I started hearing things. I followed the close captioning and the sounds were harmonious. I was feeling rather proud of myself. I patted myself on my left ear for a job well done. At the end of the episode, they had a song and I was able to hear the lyrics but not the music.

Tonight, the sounds seem very soft and I have the volume of the CI turned up all the way. Ah hah, a revelation! Now I know what everyone means by going soft.

I can hear the phone ring, and the Mother talking a mile a minute on it.

OH! The heater gives off this atrocious static. I almost want to go out the back door, through the sunroom, up the stairs and through the front door to get to the living room. I'm scared.

I can hear my little puppy bark. It sounds weird though. When she plays with her toys and starts growling, it has a tinny gargling sound. Normally, she has a ferocious growl that would make thunder embarrassed.

Since I am the texting queen, this morning I went to pick up my brand new Motorola Q9m phone to add Jennifer's new number in since she got a new Blackberry (YAY!). I noticed that every time I pressed a button I heard a clack. Hmm, I swore I turned off the sound for the keypad. I tracked down the Mother who was inhaling a cup of java.
"Hey Mom, do you hear this?"
"Hear what?" I put my cell up to her ear.
"You are just pressing the buttons."
"Heh, neat."
Unfortunately, I have not been able to coordinate a Helicopter to land on my head again. Shucks.


Nikki said...

It will take a while before you can understand speech. In a couple of weeks, try a children's cartoon dvd without captions, they tend to talk a bit slower and see if you can pick anything up!

If the magnet is causing soreness, is it too strong? I don't think it's supposed to hurt, mine doesn't.

One of the first sounds I "discovered" was the keys on my phone making noises!! How awesome is that! How about doorbells, have you come across any of those yet?

Jennifer said...

You got me in that phone?? Great! :D I'm in awe of all the sounds you're hearing! I think I'd have a headache too! I don't tolerate loud noises well...I think I'll probably go through the first few days post-activation with the sensitivity set on 9...LOL :) I love reading your writing,'re so funny!! THANK YOU for sharing it all with us!!

Michael said...

Yeah, speech is tough. Here's some homework: reread pages 61-66 in my book, they'll be a comfort to you.

Yana said...

Hello! I love your posts and your summary of the Bremmen Musicians.:)

I was activated 3 months ago, come visit! I will be back! :)

Kim said...

Thanks for the update Abbie! I'm reading this in awe. I can't believe you're already back at work!