Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Partially deaf...

I have Verizon Wireless, my phone is a POS replacement Samsung U740 (ie: my second phone since September 2007)

I was off yesterday for my good ol’ buddy Abraham Lincoln birthday and I decided to venture to Verizon Wireless (again) because that POS replacement Samsung U740 was acting up!

How was it acting up? The same stinking way it was acting up before.

  • When using AOL IM, I like my phone to alert me that I have a new instant message. My phone chooses not to do that. Bad phone.

  • My calendar function does not function correctly! Bad, bad, phone.

  • When trying to connect to YAHOO! My phone spews out hateful ERROR 52 messages. Bad, bad, bad phone.

  • My standby time about an average of 200 hours, I'm lucky to get 20 hours before it powers down!. !@#$^&* phone.

I rolled up in that store with my U740 in my pocket, flashed him my grill, and gave him a long list of technical issues. The Verizon expert of a technician took my phone away and did his fancy schancy mojo to it. It consisted of glancing back and forth at the big one eyed monster (monitor) and the little two eyed monster (cell phone) that was sitting in front of him.) In the end, he claimed to fix the bugs (we shall see) and they replaced my battery that was Fed-ex'd to my house this morning (yippie)!

With much ado, he tried telling me to call tech support and handed me a piece of paper with a number on it! I took a step backwards, glanced up at the sign that clearly said "Technical Support." I sighed, blinked my eyes a few times and looked at the piece of paper.
Not happening kid.

“See here is the thing, umm, I’m deaf and there is no way I am going to call them on relay trying to explain what is going on with my phone!” (I have been hung up on countless of times with Verizon.)

“Oh, ok ma’am, I undy!” says the tech who started dialing the number and gave a lengthy introduction of name, date, shoe size, store number, underwear preference, and my number.

Then he said, “I have a customer here that is partially deaf...”

Partially deaf, I've been called a lot of things but that one is a new one. It is an interesting concept.

In addition to being called deaf or (death depending on who is pronouncing it), hard of hearing, hearing impaired, hearing problem and now we have a newcomer, partially deaf.

That is a rather odd adverb to describe my hearing loss. In the same token if I am partially deaf would I be considered partially hearing? Now we all know that is physically impossible for me to be partially hearing, how I could be partially deaf then? I can't, I'm completely deaf.

Now I got this snazzy piece of equipment on the side of my noggin here which always me to hear part of the time. Once I take off the snazzy equipment, my hearing powers down and I hear nothing, leaving me completely deaf.

So Verizon, can you hear me now?


Jennifer said...

Abbie...that cracked me up! "Deaf" isn't one of those words that "partially" goes with well! It's like being partially dead or partially pregnant or partially just doesn't go!
I've been called "death" too. I have a hard time biting my tongue when people say that!!

Valerie said...

I love it, partially deaf - at least he did not call you partially hearing or mostly deaf. Most importantly at least he did not call you OLD WOMAN!

Abbie said...

Jen, I kind of partially cracked up myself! :) especially with your partially preggers LOL!

You got that right! I would have had a field day with that one!

Love you southern gals!! not just partially but completely :)

Dena Reiter said...

I don't know much about the science of CI's, so *switches to her hearing culture mindset* I would have reacted the same way, but I agree it's a bit rude to assume partially versus fully. I guess because you can speak well he assumes you are partially? I guess it's a concept of hearing culture not found in deaf? Well...I guess I should say mostly...there's still that "other" category we seem to fit into rather nicely ;)

Anonymous said...

So very funny, Abbie, especially loved your dramatic glance up at the tech support sign!

I had an image of this guy clearing a way for you through phone support by shouting out: "Partially deaf lady, coming through!"


J.M. Tewkesbury said...

I guess for hearing people, your hearing is sort of like the weather: it's either mostly sunny/partly cloudy or partly cloudy/mostly sunny.

Okay, bad analogy, I know.

That said, though, I often describe myself as partially deaf. Meaning, I hear in one ear and not at all in the other. I suppose it's not the same, though, is it?

P.S. Thank you for your email a few weeks ago. I'm a lame *ss! I only just checked my account last night. I'll reply later today!

Yana said...

Great post!

I tell strangers I am hearing impaired because many people don't understand the meaning of "hard of hearing".

I share your feelings about relay. I am happy to announce to CapTel arrived today and so far, so good. Are you getting yours soon?

Anonymous said...

*chuckling* i love the way you say it with words of what happen and yeah partially deaf does that mean half of our ears get chopped off ??? Makes you think eh !!!
I would say im just HOH with hearing aids and stone deaf without that get them thinking *HOW* LOL
Was the guy good looking when you gave him the evil eye ???
*chuckling* (_!_) (_/_) (_\_)

Unknown said...

You write to good that I enjoyed reading your frustrating experience story. I could hear over the phone but hate it. I rather that my wife deal with the phone since she is "hearing". The other day, I had problems with my "Sprint" service, my wife spent almost 45 minutes on the phone trying to "straigten them out". They finally got it and credited us for our frustrations.

They even added unlimited texting for me for a tiny charge. yippee. Who shall I text to?

Ummm.. oh.. my teenage daughter, that's who. She never answer her cell phone but she will respond to a text message right away. LOL

Christian and Lily's Mommy said...

Abbie, if makes you feel any better, the Verizon people here are just a dumb....I had some problems with my phone a while back and when I called them to explain to them that it wasn't receiving incoming calls, they said, they would call me ON MY CELLPHONE to test it.


Abbie said...


Yana, my dear! I am so excited that you got your captel phone!! I just my approval letter that I will be receiving it (hold on to your shorts) within four weeks! I am getting a free smoke detector and carbon monoxide detector through the state as well which will make me feel safer.

Tassie, crikey, Some americans are just plain weird :)

J.W. welcome back my partial deaf friend :) I will look forward to reading your email!

Jim, I can hear on the phone as well but when it comes to explaining a difficult situation, I wash my ears free of it :) You know what I mean?

LOL! Kids these days, I am the same way :) I'm working on the blackberry syndrome, no fun :)

All of you guys rock! :)

Nikki said...

I call myself partially deaf! I consider it a "laymans term" for hearing people :)

Anonymous said...

I tell people I am totally deaf but that with my cochlear implant I can hear.

Sam said...

I am fuckin' dying here..."partially deaf"?????????????????
The Deaf culture would have a field day with Verizon. And to add to Jen's comment...does that mean being partially rich is considered good enough for a used Rolls Royce??? I once had someone introduce me as being "hard of hearing" only to have the responder be nice enough to ask which part.