Happy Halloween!!!

I wanted to wish you all a safe and happy Halloween! This was my first bionic Halloween and I decided to be a bionic flapper! Little things I have learned this Halloween is that wearing a wig keeps a CI on no matter what the activity is. Whether it would be dancing the Charleston, cabbage patch or playing pool, it is on there like Velcro. A little beauty tip for you. I discovered over the course of this month that many people shell out money for motion activated sound effects for the OUTSIDE of their house. I never heard a witch’s cackle, an eerie ghostly moan, or thundering sounds before. I have only heard those sounds when I’ve gone to haunted houses which I’ve contributed mainly to the sound system installed. Now I can hear it walking up the steps of friend’s houses. Spooky :)

For the record, I do not advocate smoking in any way! www.thetruth.com

Have a happy Halloween!!

So many websites, so little time...

I don't know about you guys but I'm a bookmark fanatic. Once I set my sights on a site that is articulated with delicious bits of information, it manifests itself as a part of my little bookmark family before you can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. What does a girl like me with a list of bookmarks longer then her entire family tree do to keep up with them all? If you scroll down (after you are done reading this please) and have a little look see at my bookmark section, which a majority of the links represents blogs to other bionic buddies, parents of their little bionic ones, and other deaf related sites. You will notice that it is a LONG list.

Abbie does not exactly have what you people call TIME on her hands to go checking up on every single one of these sites and the many others that are unrelated to the topic at hand. In the olden days, I would get comfortable and click happy with my mouse until my eyes just about crossed over to the other hemisphere. I am proud to announce that those days are over and long gone thanks to Google.

Google has developed a product called Google Reader, which receives the universal kudos sign from me. Besides accomplishing the task of being the answer to all my prayers, it shows the updated content of my bookmarked sites in one convenient place. Does this happen to pique your curiosity my fair readers? I thought it would! Did I mention that it is free? Now I know I have your undivided attention.

All you need to do is create a Google account. Personally, I would go for the whole shebang and get an email address at no extra cost (it puts Hotmail to shame.) Once you get your brandy new Google login and password, log into the Google Reader site. You will see layout that looks similar to your inbox. Click on Add Subscription and type the address to a site or search for new ones, for example http://contradica.blogspot.com (hint: copy and paste) and click Add. You have subscribed to that site. When I update my blog, it will show up in the Google Reader site and you will be able to read it as if you went to my blog site directly. Another option is if you see this little orange icon (my icon is green) that says RSS Feed or Subscribe to: Atom on a site that you interests you, you can click on it and it will ask you to add to Google Reader automatically! Either way, just try it, you won't regret it!

I have subscribed to a variety of sites such as blogs, news, gossip, MySpace, Xanga and other random sites that interest me. What was once disorganized chaos is now organized bliss thanks to Google Reader. Can I get an Amen?!

This weekend was full of CI moments but I want to share my last one because I will post the others tomorrow. I went broccoli crown shopping at my local supermarket who has installed self-check out modules. I am walking down an aisle that had nothing to do with broccoli, but it was near the self-check out modules. I heard loud and clear, "Please place item on the belt" followed by a loud beep and the "Please scan your next item." I stopped dead in my sandals and peered behind me to hear "Please select your method of payment." Considering I was halfway down the aisle, I thought that quite an accomplishment. I gave a pat on my ear for a job well done.

I resumed broccoli shopping and grabbed bok choy for the ride. Once I was done, I got myself situated at the self-check module, I hit the button for English, and this thundering boom talked to me, "Please scan your member card or scan your first item now." Geez louise, it was so loud! No wonder why I heard it half way an aisle. My thoughts quickly deferred to the countless of times I have utilized the same self-check station to avoid talking to the cashier, actually to avoid communication period. It was almost inconceivable the countless of times it was barely audible. A nanosecond later, it is conceivable and currently is reality to me. Hearing is not something to be taken granted. To reaffirm that, I look up to scan my surroundings while I'm gritting my teeth listening to the booming female mechanical voice obnoxiously instructing me to scan my next item, I saw a young girl reading a gossip magazine signing as happy as she can to her mother.

I got excited to see someone signing because that gave me a little comfort that maybe I am not the only deaf one in my area. Then it dawned on me I could only talk through her mom because I do not sign, but it was a comfort nevertheless since I can count the number of deaf people I've seen in my area on one hand. I wanted to walk up to them and say "HI! I'm Abbie and I'm deaf too!" or something to that effect but less cheerleadery. I never got the chance because they left while I was being instructed to bag my items by the drill sergeant hiding in the self-check module.

I came home with little more then I intended. A soothing feeling I am not as alone as I think I am in this world and bok choy.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!!

I bring good tidings and links too!!! Advanced Bionics, the company that manufacturers my beloved cochlear implant, magnet, chip and all has posted a link to my blog under their Peer Support link.

Click here to check it out!!

AND my bionic buddy Jennifer who going bilateral in a mere 12 days is featured on there too!! She is the beautiful buxom blonde right underneath of me :)

I'm a greedy little audiophile.

My fourth mapping was yesterday and I have "Advanced." I dig this snazzy music program over my base program. I love the wider dynamic range and voices sound pretty. Voices jump out at me in noise, in the car, in quiet, you get the idea. Oh, music sounds pretty good too. :) I’m very greedy as far as sounds go. I like it and want it all and I want it now! In the beginning, my audi stuck me in the booth did a tone, sentence and word test. I scored 44% on my sentences compared to 0% pre-activation. The word tests, lets just say I need some work LOL, 8% :) but compare that 0% pre activation, it is a leaps and bounds. She said that they don't normally run tests until 3 months after activation. Regardless, I'm ecstatic with the results! From just two weeks ago, there is already an improvement!

Pink represents the tone test I just had done yesterday.
Red represents my left ear prior to being implanted.
Blue represents my right ear without my hearing aid.
Green represent normal hearing

Since I liked the IDR of 80 and the music program, she tweaked the music program and added higher frequencies to it to become my base program. Now paper and plastic are back to being loud again :) She went through some sentences covering her mouth and I got every single one with the high frequency emphasis. She lowered the volume to 306 to eliminate the twitch. At my last mapping, she went through each electrode raising the volume to see if it was one electrode, not the case. The conclusion is that it might be a combination of electrodes that are giving me the 'oh so sexy spastic eye look'. I did the math the combinations are endless. She programmed the CI along with my hearing aid in to see if I need the volume in my left ear and so far, it is working out well. If I take either the CI or the HA off, everything sounds soft. Perhaps my brain is getting use to having two ears again. Next time I go and see her is when an Advanced Bionic audiologist will be present which is going to be within the next two-three weeks. Once I find out when the audiologist is available, I will let you all know.

Overall, this nifty little gadget impresses me every single day. This weekend I was cleaning out the shed and then I heard two DISTINCT MALE voices or two baritone females, you never know. Lo and behold, there were two men hanging out on the roof of my neighbor's house that is a good 80 feet away. Before I couldn't hear anything that was 8 feet away much less 80 feet.

On the way home armed with a new map, I wanted to stop by a mall that is close to the hospital. Since someone neglected to grab the GPS at home and I had no idea how to get there from Philadelphia. Hell I didn't even know how to get there from Jersey. Thanks to the trusty GPS technology installed on my phone, it guided me right to the front entrance of the mall. From there I entered the golden palace of make-up otherwise known as Sephora. I am walking around practically convulsing with excitement at all the different products, I hear behind me, "May I help you look for something?" I felt like I had an Elvis moment because my eyebrow must have went up in a permanent state of perpetual surprise. I turned around and there was a very happy Sephora employee smiling waiting to assist me. It is so much easier to shop without purposely avoiding communication with anyone.

Signing off as the greedy audiophile.

Impotence drugs linked to sudden hearing loss.

This little snippet links sudden hearing loss with popping those "BLUE PILLS". There is always a catch somewhere.

U.S. regulators on Thursday said warnings about the risk of sudden hearing loss linked to popular drugs for impotence, including Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, would be added to the drugs' labels.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration was prompted to look into a possible connection after a published report of a man taking Viagra, made by Pfizer Inc, who suffered from sudden hearing loss, a rare condition.

Eli Lilly sells Cialis and GlaxoSmithKline Plc sells Levitra.

A further review of the FDA's side effect data found 29 cases of sudden hearing loss with a relationship to the three drugs. In two thirds of the cases, the hearing loss was ongoing, the agency said.

Breast Cancer Awareness

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Millions of people wear pink clothes, accessories or don pink ribbons. There are walks held all over the United States to raise awareness. Almost 200,000 women and MEN are diagnosed each year with breast cancer. The reality of breast cancer is as real as the air we breathe, the food we eat, the water we drink and the blood in our veins. Today at work to support the cause, we donned our pink ribbons and attire. Just a simple act of wearing a particular color acknowledges those who have been diagnosed, survived or lost someone in the battle. Unfortunately, it just takes one person, whether it is you or someone else to be diagnosed with breast cancer that propels an emotional roller coaster that once experienced, it is forever etched in your mind. It is only then that the awareness of breast cancer is truly turned in to reality because you begin to question your own mortality while they are faced head on with their own. Could it happen to me? Is it happening to me now? Does it run in the family? How do I stop it? Then it leads into question of how I can help them cope. What is the right thing to say? Do I ask questions? Should I not ask questions? What can I do? Do I hug them? It is unsettling when no one has the answer.

When I discovered that someone I personally know had breast cancer, I thought to myself all of those same questions. This woman prior to being diagnosed if she stubbed her toe, she was down for a week. Since she has survived breast cancer, she has become the epitome of strength and courage for all of those she has touched. The definition of survivor is one who lives through affliction and perseveres after and she truly represents that. Not all the donations, walks, pink ribbons, or harmonious outings geared towards raising awareness together could have created the profound impact on me as Pam did when she was diagnosed.

The point I am trying to make is do not wait until you are face to face with the reality of cancer. There is no time like the present to support the cause. Here are some links below.

This site requires just a single click to fund free mammograms. It takes two seconds.

http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=2

http://www.nbcam.com/

http://ww5.komen.org/home/

http://www.breastcancer.org/

CI Moment

This morning I was at work passing through an office to get to the fax machine in what I call a walk in storage closet. Passing through, there is a woman I work with name Pat concentrating so I sprinted passed her because I did not want to bother her. Pat is a cool chick, she was one of the few that felt my magnet on my head. I'm half awake trying to remember whether the document goes face down or face up in this fax machine.

"Whose there?" I hear Pat say.

"It's me." I reply.

Mind you, there is a wall separating Pat and I.

"Abbie! You heard that?!" Pat said.

I peer around the corner and I see Pat sitting right in front of the doorway, with eyes as wide as a kid in a candy store.

"Yeah Pat, I heard you." I replied nonchalantly.

"I can't believe that! Now before you would have never heard me before right?" Pat said.

BOOM! It hit me like an espresso shot. Talk about a super delayed reaction. I told her no I would not have heard her. We spent a couple minutes going back and forth, about how well the CI is working for me. She was so genuinely shocked and happy for me. She was beside herself.

Truth of the matter is that before I would have not been able to hear her even if she were standing right behind me. When I just had my hearing aid, I always had a hard time understanding Pat for some reason. With the CI, I discovered the reason being because her voice has a high frequency pitch. Now I have no problem understanding her face to face, or even through a wall.

These little cochlear implant moments sure do sneak up on you.

A weeks worth of thought...

It has been four weeks since I was turned on and I cannot believe the difference. Not just in what I hear, but in how I feel. I feel that I am on a path to rediscovering myself. I am doing a complete overhaul on my life, pulling out the weeds so to speak. My self-confidence is slowly coming back. I do not feel as socially repressed. I will admit I have withdrawn into my own little world. I use to work out like crazy, go out on a whim, and take little trips to nowhere just because I wanted to. Since I lost my hearing, I lost interest in all of that. On the other hand, since I have lost my hearing, I have gained interest in what really should matter. I feel secure in my surroundings. I can hear a car coming up behind me. I can hear someone answer me through a wall. I can hear a fire alarm whereas four weeks and one day ago, I could not hear one if I held it right against my ear. It is a sense of security that has been given back to me by simply inserting a circuit board with a tail in my head. I feel that the ability to accomplish tasks without placing a burden on anyone is within arms reach. To do things myself, gain a sense of privacy, and achieve independence would be my poetic justice.

The one thing that has affected me, as thick skinned as I might appear is how my speech is perceived. I'm conscientiously aware of how I am speaking at all times. The idea of someone commenting on my "accent" turns my stomach. I would fight like hell to hold my tears back, which I am doing now. Humiliation rears its ugly head when a stranger out of nowhere ask me where I am from when I am at a store, amongst friends, or worse, a friend notices. I have received more comments regarding my speech since February then I ever have in my life. I started for the first time in my life, keeping my mouth shut. I began to think to myself maybe people were afraid to tell me, that they did not want to hurt my feelings. I suppose there was no right or wrong way of saying it to me. I contemplate that it would be like me asking someone if a tube dress made me look fat and did not want to hurt my feelings. Regardless if I was left looking like an overstuffed sausage or slurring as if I have been hitting the bottle a little too much, I'm starting to feel that I can talk candidly without the weight on my shoulders of wondering if they are judging my speech.

Nuff about that though! Since my audi Jennifer turned off my auto gain compression, it has been a blessing in disguise. An ambulance went by me while I was driving and I heard it approaching without having to look in the rear view mirror. With the auto gain on, it sounded like when you are talking on a cell phone and you lose signal, it cuts out. Very annoying. I am reading this book called The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri, and it has a woman with a very slight Indian accent narrating the book. This is my first audio book with a woman narrator and I am able to follow along fairly well. My next mapping is on Monday, so I will have to see what she has in store for me then.

For those who like CSI shows, CSI Miami aired an episode last Monday called "Inside Out". It featured a deaf girl that was killed and she had a cochlear implant! Sure, they killed her off, but you can see the magnet stick to her head and everything!