1 Days, 16 Hours, 17 Minutes: Technically

This little battle of tinnitus that I got going on here is ending! I have figured out that the enemy (tinnitus) is employing a method known as acoustic jamming. I’ll be damned if I’m going to be jammed. Due to my cerebral ingenuity or the enemy is running out of puff, the volume is noticeable but low. I can hear the telly again and Bella barking. I have packed my tent up and will be leaving Camp Unhappy immediately.

On a more important note, today is the last Saturday that my left ear will be deaf as a doorknob. I woke up to a dank morning but by noontime, the temperature reached about 77 degrees, the clouds were gone and the sun was shining scattering the blue light in the sky. I got myself all prettied up and ran some errands before my chow down appointment with a good friend Melissa and our mothers at the Olive Garden. You just cannot go wrong with unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks for $5.99. We had such a good time together. It was so nice just sitting around enjoying each other’s company over good Italian food. After lunch, someone (not naming names) brought up shopping and I thought I might have to invest in an activation outfit. Needless to say, I went shopping afterwards.

Upon running my errands this morning, I came across a fruit called a Minneola. Since my palate craves intellectual nourishment at least six times a day, I added it to my pantry this morning. I have never had this citrus but it looks strikingly similar to a Sunkist naval orange but deeper in color. Doing a quick search on Google revealed that it is hybrid between a tangerine and a grapefruit. As far as taste goes, I can truly say I have experienced the ultimate tartness. The grapefruit is definitely dominant. The tartness prompted me to sprinkle it with Splenda that revealed the tangerine tang. At last, my palate was content with the newfound Minneola.

I have a hidden agenda in sharing this rather asinine story. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I ventured out and discovered a Minneola, which is sour, but coupled with something sweet, was delectable. I will be bringing the same mentality with me when I am activated. I am going to be operated by a computer in my head, which at first might be a sour experience. Regardless of what I hear, I am going to venture out and see what I can do to enhance it. Perseverance will prevail and it is starting with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer Stone audio book. I'm stoked!

Resistance is futile.

Destination is merely a byproduct of the journey: Part II

The countdown is indeed dwindling down and I am beginning to get impatient, but not for the obvious reasons. The tinnitus has come back and I have set up a tent at Camp Unhappy. It sounds like a fish tank bubbling and I cannot tell which side of my head the tinnitus is coming from. It started on Tuesday and increasingly got louder. Yesterday when I woke up, it was just like old times. I could hardly hear a thing. This morning the noise was not so loud. It is just so aggravating. I was just so grateful for that little taste of silence for a couple weeks. I am not welcoming this noisy visitor with open arms again. Anyway, moving right along to your lesson of the day.

Let me copy and paste this to refresh your memory:

Activation involves the external part of the system, which is the processor that resembles your standard behind the ear hearing aid. The coil with the flat round disc at the end houses a magnet that will attach to the magnet in the implant that lies under my head. Whew, try saying that five times fast. Before I continue, for the record my processor will be boring beige. I am far too colorful with my hair and wardrobe to rock a colorful processor. Once the two magnets attract each other then my audiologist, Jennifer who is going to be my new best friend for the next couple of months, can get down to business and start programming the implant according to how I respond to the tones. Once the programming is complete, she activates me and slowly starts to turn up the volume to a comfortable level. At this point, I should be able to hear something. These sessions are called mappings that will be explained in detail as the countdown dwindles down.

When it comes to activation on Monday, the programming will be referred to as mappings. Two levels of sound must be determined in order to custom map the implant to my hearing loss. The first level is called a Threshold or T for short, which is when I can detect the softest sound at each frequency. The second level is Comfort, C or M for short. This is when I determine my loudest but most comfortable sound at each frequency. I believe they use what is called live speech burst to determine the levels. Once these two levels are determined, the audiologist will go through a process of asking me when two different pitches of sound are at the same volume. Somehow, that sounds tricky to me. If you are presented with, a low bass sound followed with a high tone and have to determine if it is at the same volume level. It seems to me it is easier said than done.

Once the T & C levels are determined and everything sounds the same to me, the audiologist will download the map to my processor and turn the volume up until I can hear. It will be at that most moment that I will be able to hear something.

The following could happen:

• Best-case scenario is that I could hear everything just as natural as could be.
• Everyone sounds like munchkins from Wizard of Oz, but I will understand speech.
• I could hear sounds similar to R2D2 fighting in Star Wars as speech.
• I could hear static.

Regardless of what I hear, it will be something more then what I currently have now. The audiologist might have to play around with the levels a little more depending on how I respond. That is mapping in a nutshell. Being mapped is not just a one-time deal. I have three more mapping sessions scheduled over a month and half period. As time goes on my brain will learn to interpret what the electrical pulses are from the implant as sound and it will become natural. When my brain gets use to one map, sounds will become softer which means my brain is ready for more volume. At that point, I will have to go back to the audiologist and have another mapping session to determine the threshold and comfort levels all over again.

Lesson completed! Class dismissed.

Opus of the Plague

At this point, I wish I was a computer equipped with satellite-shielded speakers, which are immune to interference. I feel like my ears are vintage computer speakers that are affected by electronic interference of something as simple as a remote control! It sounds like I have a AM radio station in my ear. I suffer from tinnitus. This episode that I am currently having in my ear is driving me BONKERS for the past week. It sounds like the inside of a seashell is inside my head amplified ten times.

*banging head on desk*

I feel like this cat right now.

You would think I would be use to this by now since I have had tinnitus since I lost the rest of my hearing in my left ear. It never use to be this bad. I use to have a well-behaved left ear. I use to be able to lay me down to sleep and wake up with ears that have normalized overnight. The older I am getting these cacophonic episodes have gotten longer, louder and diversified in sound. It only affects my left (dead) ear but it is so loud that it actually takes over my other ear. The sounds range from this lovely melody of the ocean that I experiencing right now to buzzing, beeping, hissing, whooshing, and roaring. It is the opus of the plague to me.

Peculiar things would start the onslaught of pungent noises. If I cracked a piece of hard candy with my jaw a certain way, the music begins. I have learned since then to stop chewing hard candy since I do not want to end up with old English men teeth. If I was horsing around and just happen to land on my feet just so, here comes the static. Cold weather brings it on regardless if I wear a hat on my head or not. It comes on for no reason too and can last for up to over a week. Why? why? why?!

I do not remember me putting my John Hancock on a piece paper allowing my head to be the host of a foreign sound taking up residence in my auditory system. Who do I have to call? Tinnitus Busters?

On a brighter side, I got two more weeks to go until my surgery. Yee-haw!!