Just like the Energizer Bunny...

I keep going and going and going.

I have 7 days to go and then it is scalpel time! Pardon my morbid sense of humor. I am delirious. I just want Monday morning at whatever godforsaken time the hospital wants me to be there to arrive.This weekend flew by at the speed of light. On Friday, I attended the end of the season softball bash at a fellow player's house. The house was gorgeous, hard-scaping was magnificent, pool was beautiful, and the food was delicious with a capital D. By the end of the night, all my energy was consumed trying to keep up with conversation, but I had a great time nonetheless.

It was a beautiful day on Saturday. I did some shopping and I attended a spa party! I tried numerous beauty treatments. None of them made me look like Heidi Klum but it was relaxing. I had this stuff put on my face that gave me a patina effect. Then the chair happened. I am going to nickname this chair Chocolate because it is just as dreamy as chocolate. Chocolate is a torque up pedicure chair for your own personal use! I felt so relaxed between the treatments and the massage. Later on, that night, my friend and I decided to try our hands at making hair extensions. We eventually gave up and started looking into some technology to modernize the process. It was coyly named "Mom with the sewing machine."

Then Sunday, a few wonderful hearing friends and I went to the NYC Deaf Festival at South Street Seaport. We arrived at Fulton street hot off the subway, and I had no idea which way was east. It did not take me long to find out, all I had to do was follow the deaf people. It was everyone's first deaf event and it was a learning experience for all of us. It was a good time with the music, the vendors, and the food. I think it would have been better if I knew sign language. Not all was lost because we learned some sign here and there. We learned how to say thank you and success. Sign language is a beautiful way to communicate. I wanted to find someone who had a cochlear implant and failed miserably. We had good food at Uno's. I was very impressed at their quality of food. I would say the experienced has been a success, thank you all!

Then today at the office was business as usual at my not-so-sunny little cubicle. I was so jaded this morning from my weekend :) It was a very hectic day. My tinnitus was mild this morning. I thought I was going to need a rubber room last week! I faced reality this morning that my residual hearing in my right ear is going and fast. Things that I heard a couple weeks ago I am barely making out now. This morning I had to use someone else's desk to make a quick copy. I had several people behind me and they were trying to get my attention. I did not hear a single word. I was able to be hear some environmental sounds. I turned around to get the copy and I saw that they all had the infamous grin on their face of "Hellllllo, we are trying to get your attention!" Words were exchanged and I walked out the door with my tail between my legs, figuratively speaking.

It is a dog-eat-dog world out there and I'm happy I can still hear mine bark.

Whoa, its 20 days away?!

Mood: Anxious

Since I was mainstreamed all my life, I have not had the opportunity to meet other hard of hearing or deaf people. I could count the ones I have met up on one hand. I lack the ability to sign. I can barely do the ABC's but I am a master at the big one finger salute. I never thought to seek out others like me. It was not until I started researching cochlear implants that I came upon all these sites full of people just like me. I never knew how comfort felt until I realized there are other people out there that feel the same way. Right down to the same quirky little habits that we have all unknowingly adapted.

For example, I have a habit of just smiling and nodding during a conversation. I get so tired of trying to follow the conversation because it is like watching the Wimbledon every single day. I hate tennis and I am in dire need a chiropractor :) People wonder why I have such a short attention span and tend to drift off in space. It is mentally exhausting to try to follow the voice. I opt to my mind my own beeswax. I love gossip but not at the lengths I have to go to get it. That is what PerezHilton.com is for.

It is nice to know that I am not the only one that dreads nighttime affairs with no floodlights underneath everyone faces. I cannot hear or see anyone lips without light so I end up sitting there looking like an anti-social hermit. Believe you me I am anything but anti-social. In fact, I am quite the quaint little social butterfly.

Another one is that when every one starts to laugh, I laugh even when I have no idea what they are laughing about. I detest looking like a pudding head, so I laugh. Even worse, I do not want to appear that I lack the sense of humor to enjoy a clever banter, so I laugh some more. It is a rotten feeling to discover what is so humorous after everyone else has enjoyed the moment. It ruins many a moments when someone has to explain what is so funny. It is just these little things that normal hearing people will never understand.

However, it makes me feel all sorts of warm inside when I get told that I act like that one would never know that I can't hear. It is 90% due to my super duper black belt lip-reading skills and the other 10% is the sounds I can barely hear. I teeter totter between planes of reality. I just don't know where I fit in.

I decided to go to the NYC Seaport Deaf Festival in New York on August 19 to see if I can meet some great people, learn about the deaf culture, and get some food while I am at it. I do not know the first thing about the deaf culture, but I am determined. I know more about the Spanish culture then I do about deaf culture. I cannot even begin to express how happy I am to have some wonderful friends that are going with me to support me. They are my rock stars :)

This honorary rock star is going to put down her drum sticks and close her eyes.

*YAWN*